What's heaven like?

By Samuel Muiruri | Jan. 2, 2019 | Atheism

There was a time people used to believe the sun went round the earth, christians includes and the catholic church. People at the time also knew about the planets but the stars were less understood, now we know what lies beyond is unfathomably big. Plagues used to be caused by sin and leaders had to seek advice from religious leaders if they hoped to find a solution. 

I have a friend who seems to embrace most of what science offers even predicts to come but two theroies in particular don't... well haven't been proven enough for her: evolution and the big bang theories. Understandably science has a number of theories and two in particular relate to origin, of the universe and life. They don't glorify life nor can they be superglued to some known interpretation of the scripture. The thing about the brain is it can't hold two opposing belief; the rule is the first gets dibs and to drop the first belief and embrace a second one will require a lot of opposing evidence knocking down basis of the first and lifting the second. That's why it's important to teach your child about God at a young age.

Here's the thing there's no clear verse that talks about the rapture and it's not in the revelations and it mentions 144,000 jews who will be rescued from the horrors. If you ever wonders the trumpets start to sound where things starts to go apocalyptic. God will descend from heaven with his angels after freeing the devil to fight the devil then lock him up again. 

Destroy earth and everything else... the universe then create everything again with a good earth, hell will be somewhere unknown not in the new universe neither in the old and then those who were good will live in eternity with God. But think about that, the universe will be destroyed for our sins.

If you did survive this for heaven would you really be satisfied, in a city of gold when there are planets made of pure diamond, google it. What will you do for eternity? worship God... gaining immortality to spend it this way really isn't worth it.

Here's a few interesting things about heaven:

  1. It's a city, precisely 1380 miles square (width and height) image below
  2. Severly over glamorized purely gold, you might not find a nice shade of place to stay, plants might not be there.
  3. God will be the Sun, you will never fap in peace.
  4. It stands a high chance of looting, you know it, I know it.
  5. There's no means of transport except maybe horses.
  6. There will be no diamonds in heaven and diamonds are a girl's best friend, this will cause problems when you have to pick one of the precious stones to gift a girl just so you know: jasper, sardonyx, carnelian, topaz, chrysoprase, jacinth, amethyst don't look like that great. 

My opinion, heaven is where godly beings live and wanting to live there all of us is like a relative that moved in and never moves out probably why other religions have levels of heavens separated by class.





And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the holy city of Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, shining with the glory of God. Its radiance was like a most precious jewel, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal. The city had a great and high wall with twelve gates inscribed with the names of the twelve tribes of Israel, and twelve angels at the gates. There were three gates on the east, three on the north, three on the south, and three on the west. The wall of the city had twelve foundations bearing the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

The angel who spoke with me had a golden measuring rod to measure the city and its gates and its walls. The city lies foursquare, with its width the same as its length. And he measured the city with the rod, and all its dimensions were equal—twelve thousand stadia in length and width and height. And he measured its wall to be one hundred forty-four cubits,e by the human measure the angel was using.

The wall was made of jasper, and the city itself of pure gold, as pure as glass. The foundations of the city walls were adorned with every kind of precious stone: The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst.

And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, with each gate consisting of a single pearl. The main street of the city was pure gold, as pure as transparent glass.

Verses like Jesus ascended into heaven, stairs to heaven, descended from heaven have always had heaven somewhere above earth, then we flew in planes and slowly went above the clouds and went higher into space at this point no believer or church would support a heaven in the clouds. 

Heaven is not near earth or even in the solar system, nobody knows where but from somehow angels with wings will descend from the sky with no protective covering, the wings should have frozen and if you breathe in space you die and you will freeze before you get here but wait, God is with them so they wont.

Before they land there'll be plagues:

Rev {8:12} And the fourth angel sounded, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.

This is the fourth trumpet and from the first they all affect a third of something, the third trumpet which has a star fall on a third of all fountains of water making a third of all water on earth bitter to the point of killing people is a bit illogical. How would it hit a third of all water reservoirs in the world and with God's hind sight, he knows the date of this and it can only be in the future then how would this kill people with UN and advanced water treatment options? Then the sun, moon and stars the sun growing dimmer would mean reducing the fission happening inside, doable but a third of the stars would it mean individually darkening a third of their light or puffing out a third of all stars? 

And the skies grew darker, Here's the good part

Rev {9:6} And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them. 

Those who survive effectively become zombies, you can be severely hurt but you will not die, 



If you get yourself in between this and you're crushed your bones and juices will be alive, how and why? Upside I can finally get shot without being afraid, Come at me Bro.

Using the Lord's Name in vain is probably the commandment we've broken the most, if you had to observe that one you'd probably just give up on religion at some point. They're going to stat it up: Vaining: 5,000 Premarital Sex: 200 Masturbation: 1,000 logically we can't watch you're whole life and if I have to watch 1,000 people's lives and I'm far back in the line even if I'm holy and going to heaven that's 50,000 years minimum: Dear Lord why are you testing me like so? Of course you know I'm worthy. You know after a while they'll be people having sex in line, rioting and other weird shit. What number are you? 5,234,675,563... and they're still at number 14,323 the guy is still at work and he's sleeping most of the time Ughh. Just shoot me and get it over with.

Him: You want to have sex

Her: I don't know I don't think that's right

Him: You think your going to hell?

Her: Yup, did some pretty serious stuff and I was never apologetic about it and it looks like you had to be and fornication is a thing...

Him: Me too, we're so fucked (long pause) so what do you think?

Her: Yeah why not fuck it this shit aint fair anyway

Him: Exactly

It goes on and on, Revelations is filled with tales some sound like Harry Potter: 

Rev 12: 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth.

Stars, can't be you'd think maybe shooting stars but a good number of asteroid are capable of wiping life from earth. That's why I'm not going to dig deeper into that but I'll say people in this era could not fathom what a star is, and dragons, witches and sorcery were a common thing. We'll atleast you can say this:

Rev 9: 14 Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.

Anal doesn't count, I'm still a virgin, never counted for us, never counted in the bible.

I'm going to laugh watching this because anal is only a sin if a guy is receiving it's baseball: you pitch if it's coming to you, you hit it out the park if you're catching you're guy squatting down.

Here's the thing about hell it's not about the fire but the eternity of it, if you've seen an animal being tortured you torture it will do anything for it to end desperation and animosity kicks, it loses itself as will people in hell, they will be stripped of their humanity and everything they know with time as millenia pass you'll become a beast accustomed to the pain, forgetting what life is what it means to be human, demons get born in hell. The punishment doesn't fix the crime, but hell can't be real

So what would I be doing in the apocalype? Going to punk concerts, because this is what this music is made for, Breaking Benjamin might just release a new song. I'll rocking my head while there's stars falling from the sky, getting drunk and shooting up the place.